It's 1 and im blogging because I need an outlet to speak my mind so I can get back to studying. I rarely expose my inner thoughts on something as guarded as this to the public so here goes. I feel like im about to strip naked and bare it all.
I cant help to think someday i'll be forgotten by the ones who impacted my life the most. Affinity decreases in time when one's miles away from the other, and I have to accept that no matter how long it takes. I know eventually there will be someone better, smarter, prettier, to replace me (if i ever did play a significant role in your life at all, this i dont know). If only that could apply to me too but unfortunately my heart has a mind of its own and it doesnt want to let you go or let anyone in.
Deep down inside, I despised getting to know you, for because of that i cant seem to stop thinking about you. It's like you're this annoying fly buzzing around my head, invading my thoughts whenever tickles your fancy and totally diverting them to all that you are. It's like you're dancing around my head, leaving trails of memories for me to reminisce on. I often find myself smiling whenever you pop up in my head, which trust me, happens frequently. Most things tend to lead back to you somehow. Or maybe im just finding a reason to link everything to you. I dont know.
You're a major influence to me and the more i unintentionally find out about you the more I fall for you. ARGGHHH! this is soo frustrating! I block you on MSN because i think that's the only way for me to get over you and move on with my freaking life without having to think about you at all. I DONT want you to pop in my head every 5 mins but at the same time I do because you're what makes me smile.
This is getting out of hand, I compare every guy who has the guts to ask me out to you and once again such audacity is put to waste. None of them is ever good enough.
I know im not worth the wait but as hard as it is for me to say this, at this point I doubt my feelings for you would change, not even with time. If I think of you constantly, does that mean I'm falling for you? My mind says go away! My heart says stay. I guess this is what happens when the heart and mind collides.
Reminiscing about the past spent with you is like my 'happy place'. It's like reminiscing is my way of escaping reality. Can one actually escape reality or live by feeding on mere memories and still stay sane? Doubt it.
Btw this is greatly exaggerated.
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